In other words, I cleaned off my cell phone.



This darlings, is why you ALWAYS come to a party when I invite you. Asian riding Racer while Racer does push ups. Win.




I wish I could remember where I got that dress. I need one in every color. Loved it. That was taken on my way to my friend Nay's wedding. Their wedding song? Don't Stop Belivin'. I love my friends.



My friend Donnie redid an old tattoo of mine. He used to live/work in Indy, now he's in Chicago and he's awesome. If you are in the Chi-town area and want a tattoo, I will more than gladly give you his info!




And finally, Lenore has a ribbon on her head. Your argument is invalid.

I've been trying to find someone to shear my llama since the temp got over 80 degrees. Poor Flippy has been sitting in kiddie pools, playing in the sprinkler, doing anything he can to beat the heat!
Finally Saturday I found a woman who was willing to handle my *ahem* feisty llama! She came out, tied a towel over his head (to work as a blindfold and spit catcher) and started shearing. It took about 2 hours to take Flippy from a this:




to this:




After that his feet got clipped, he got his shots, and got worm junk squirted down his throat.
He was NOT HAPPY.

As soon as we took the towel off his face and turned him loose he GLARED. Such a pissed off llama! In his very dignified llama manner, he snorted dewormer all over us, stepped into his kiddie pool, and started licking his salt lick.

An hour later he was over being angry, as he felt incredibly cool! He hopped and skipped around with the mini horses, got into the bag of treats, tore a small branch off a tree and took off running with it... back to normal for Flippy I would say!

1. I have just as many socks without feet (for under my elbow pads) as I have socks with feet.

2. My contact list on my phone reads like a call girl list. Sweet C, Strawberry Jam, etc.

3. If I go to an all night store, I am very likely to be handed pamphlets advising me how to escape from my abusive relationship.

4. My cats will always sniff my shoes after practice and make the "stinky face".

5. It is quite possible that my neighbors think I'm a hooker. I walk out of the house at odd hours in panties, tights, knee high socks, and carrying a suitcase. (for my skates) Sometimes, when we have an event, I'm wearing hot pants and a corset, or a tutu, or some other mad get up. I come home after several hours limping and bow legged. They don't let their children talk to me anymore...

6. I have to physically be stopped from treating the grocery store as my own personal derby track. Apparently hip checking in aisle 3 is not socially acceptable.

7. Hanging out with derby girls has made it so that I am, in general, no longer socially acceptable.

8. I have forgotten that "normal" people will not respond with the same amount of delight that I am used to when I pull my pants down in public and show them THE BIGGEST ASS BRUISE EVER.

9. Ditto for the bruises on my boobs.

10. When the people come to your door and asked whether or not you are saved, it's apparently not OK to burst into a chorus of Uncle Leon and the Alibis, "Roller Derby Saved My Soul".

11. My lawn will never be mowed in a timely manner again. (Until I learn how to mow in skates)

12. I own more pairs of tights than I do pants.

13. If someone grabs my ass at a bar, I don't get pissed. I just assume it's a derby girl. (If it's not, I fully expect all my fellow girls to bring the pain)

14. I am far more comfortable touching strange girls on the butt than I ever thought I would be.

15. I care more about shiny bearings than I do about shiny jewels.

16. It's a lot harder to get a black eye than movies and books lead you to believe.

17. Ditto for split lip.

My skates came in! I have to hand it to Riedell, when I put my order in with Sin City Skates, I was told 4-6 weeks, and to be happy if I got them within 6 weeks, since they were being custom made.
They shipped in 3 weeks! So yay Riedell and Sin City!



I had custom colors, pink and purple. Reactor plates, which are a couple steps up from what I've been skating on. The package came with Zodiac Wheels and Kwik KSN bearings. I decided to try out the wheels, since they're narrow like my current skinny G-Rods, but I wanted to swap out the bearings with my ceramic bones. Easier said than done, since two of those suckers would NOT come out. It was so close to practice time I just left the two stuck ones in.

My initial reaction to skating on these was that someone had chopped off my feet and put two new feet in their place! After so many years on my 265's these new skates felt totally alien! It felt like taking my Saturn keys away and sticking me in a Vanquish! The skates kept getting away from my feet at first and I felt a bit out of control.

Fit wise, the boot is amazing! I have no blisters after our practice, no bruising or bleeding on my feet, (teeny bit of rubbing on my ankle, but to be expected) they were just perfect! (And bless Sin City for talking me down a size. For real) The heel lock on the boot? Brilliant! Why didn't Riedell do that years ago??? My heel did not BUDGE during practice. Such an incredible feeling!
The boot itself is going to be no problem to get used to. The plate on the other hand... it's going to take some track time!
By the end of a two hour practice, I felt a lot more comfortable. I'm eager to see how I feel after our practice tonight.

Oh and what does a 2 hour practice do to shiny new skates????




*sigh* It had to happen eventually...

Today was the release of STORIES. Since I was going in late to work today I decided to pick up a copy!
Called a bookstore. Didn't have it, never heard of it, never heard of the author... WHAT???
Since we had to hit the mall anyway (shudder) we decided to pop into Barnes and Noble to see if they had it. Check the computer... yes! Sci/Fi fantasy section.
Go to sci/fi fantasy section... no book. Ask worker, she looks up on computer, goes to sci/fi fantasy section... no book. She asks another worker, they point us to sci/fi fantasy section... yea, hasn't materialized. After about 45 minutes, we're pouring over the new release table, and there it was! Hidden under some autobiography from some American Idol kid. (Really? How can you be that young and need an autobiography?)

Anyway, snagged my STORIES, and saw Mr. Dill Her0 nudge the remaining copies into a more prominent position.

Also, I did NOT intentionally wear this shirt. It was just a clean black shirt, which I wear a lot of.




So if you need a copy and live in Indiana, B&N Greenwood has about 4 left!

I played in a rock band...





and we got to play with cool bands like Fair Verona, L7, Rusted Root, Avec, Killjoy Confetti, and Perfect Nothing.




Some days I miss it. That's all.









My body is capable of way more than I ever thought it was.

Lately we've been upping our game. Our core is getting more intense than ever. Yesterday during a plank, I felt like my abs were tearing, my shoulders were burning, and there was absolutely no way I could possibly hold it for another second.
But I did. And then another, and another, and another...

It's been that way for the past few months. Our coaches ask the impossible from our bodies, and our bodies surprise us by doing what is asked. I would never know what I'm capable of on my own. When I work out on my own, I do my reps, I follow what I "think" I should be doing. When I work out for derby, I do exercises that I would never attempt, reps and lengths that seem way out of my capabilities.
Only they aren't out of my capability at all! Except I would never know that without this sport. It's pushing me to give more and be better, for myself and my team.

Now if only my coaches could scream that final 10lbs off my body...

I spun some cool stuff!



Some blue and purple. I dyed the fiber then spun it.



Some green I dyed with Kool Aid



Some pink I dyed with kool aid and acid dye mixed together



Some very cool multi colored yarn! I purchased this fiber from THIS etsy shop, one of my faves!

Speaking of which, Rachel and I reopened our etsy in anticipation of the Handiecraft festival next weekend.
It's still a little bare bones right now, but in a few weeks it'll be filled with all sorts of cool things!

The second installment of meet my animals!
Lots of my animals were saved from bad situations. Not the case with Starkey. I didn't save Starkey, Starkey saved me.




I had wanted a horse since I knew what a horse was. I loved them. I begged my Mom for riding lessons, a horse, to drive me the long way home so I could catch a glimpse out the car window at a farm with horses. I read every book there ever was about horses. Practical guides, stories... it didn't matter. If it had a horse on it, I wanted it.

Then when I was 12 years old, I did something really, really stupid. I didn't put my seat belt on in a car. It wasn't the law back then, but my Mom usually made me do it anyway. It was late at night, and she didn't check to make sure I had, so feeling like I was getting away with something I didn't buckle up. My brother did, my Mom did, and my Dad did.
The result being, when an uninsured motorist with a borrowed license plate hopped over several lanes of traffic and hit us, I was the only one injured. All of my injuries were located in my face, causing some pretty heavy duty scarring, bone damage, etc.
What does this have to do with a mini horse you ask?


Here's the thing. When a 12 year old girl, in a very small town, hits junior high with those kind of injuries, the results are not kind. It wasn't a simple matter of healing for a summer either. I had done some major damage to my face. It took YEARS of surgery. Since I was so young they had to wait sometimes before doing a procedure to see how my bones were going to grow.

So we got Starkey. When I got called "scar face" on the bus, or told that my face was "scary" by younger kids, I would run home and cry into Starkey's mane. At a time when my confidence was rock bottom, I would work with my horse and gain confidence based on his progress working with me. Having a horse was absolutely a salvation for me back then. He depended on me so I kept pushing through the pain after a surgery to feed and walk him, or the depression that having a messed up face can cause a teenage girl.

When the neighbors complained and we couldn't keep him in our neighborhood anymore I worked my butt off mucking stalls, washing horses, whatever it took for me to afford to board him. In college I had a wonderful co-op situation with other horse people, then when I moved here I of course, took Starky with me.
He's an expense I can't afford and has absolutely no practical use. I don't care. He's my horse, he saved me during the worst years of my life, and I love him to pieces.



The scars on my face aren't as visible now as they used to be, thanks to lots and lots of cosmetic surgery in my teens. You can still tell that "something happened" and my nose doesn't look like what I think it should look like, nor does my chin or upper lip.

It never mattered to Starkey though. I could hobble out to him fresh from the operating table, and he would give me the same happy whinny that he gives me now that I look "normal". Yea, I wish I had a big horse to ride but I could never, ever get rid of Starkey.

A month or so ago, a coffee shop customer offered to board my llama and mini. The downside? I wouldn't get as much riding time. The upside? He lives about a block from the shop. So instead of a 30-40 minute drive to see my critters, it would be a 5 minute drive.
More mini and llama time!
Decided to go for the move... but now we had to find a trailer! Had one person offer me the use of theirs, which turned out to be a 20 foot cow trailer. Um, bit much for our truck, and for the llama and mini. The woman who owns the dog groomers next door to us told us to swing by and borrow hers. So we set everything up for the big move, drove about 30 minutes to go get her trailer and... it set too high for our truck hitch!
The sensible thing at this point would have been to cancel the move for the day, regroup, find another trailer and try another day.
HOWEVER, I am me. When I have a PLAN, the plan happens. So a few phone calls and texts later I wrangled up another trailer, and we were off again.
Drove out to the barn, grabbed Flippy, tied him up, loaded up my cart, harness, tracked down the odds and ends of my things that tend to get "borrowed" by other boarders, grabbed Starkey and loaded him in the trailer.
Then Starkey had an EPIC FREAK OUT! Took me a few seconds to realize why; there was a wasps nest right next to his head!. Untied him, hurried him out of the trailer, had Dill go in with his shoe and take care of wasp nest.
At this point, Starkey was like, "hell no I'm not going back in there! No way!" So my normally easy to load mini planted his hooves and refused to budge. I made a "butt rope" swung it around his back end, gave him a little tug, and in he went.
Hot, sweaty, and already worn out, I then turned to Flippy to load him. Flippy was not having it. Butt rope didn't matter, he spit, made crazy llama noises, and flat out refused to get in the trailer.
20 minutes of struggle, and we were ready to just leave his furry llama butt behind! Then I had a brainstorm. Grabbed a bucket of grain shook it through the window of the trailer, and in Flippy went!
The answer to any llama training question is food. Always.

Drove them to the new digs, where they hopped and skipped around, and made friends with the resident mini, Cheesecake.


Flippy seemed really content to eat all those wonderful tree leaves.



Cheesecake and Starkey are getting along fine!

Neighborhood children were delighted, as they had never seen a llama before.

Then of course, being an EPIC day, the customer who owned the property had to dash off when his son broke his arm in three places.
It was that kind of day for everyone I suppose.

But the animals are safe and sound, child is in a cool cast and has three pins in his arm, and neighborhood children are lining the fence staring in awe at the llama. (they're used to the mini horse thing by now)
Next week I am starting my portly mini on a driving training program, since I had not realized how *ahem* PADDED he had become over the winter! Which will be much easier now that he is closer! (Wonder if I can drive my mini to work at the coffee shop???)

Tonight, if all goes well, we will be moving Starkey and Flippy to a new barn for the summer. New barn = less riding time for me, but more time overall with my horse and llama. So it's a pretty good trade!

We went to their current barn on Saturday and watched my mini causing trouble. (he's usually the instigator for any and all shenanigans)

Here he is causing a little stampede. He does that. A lot.



And as all horsie people know, this is what happens when you brush a horse.



Hopefully the big move goes smooth. I'm going to try and snag a kiddie pool for the llama since the new barn doesn't have a water tub big enough for him. (he sits in it when it's too hot)!

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