Sassy doesn't always eat random crap while we're gone and she's bored. Oh no. Sometimes we turn and say, see her face covered in what Dill thinks is blood, only to find she's ingested a red sharpie.
Or, a couple days ago, we might hear a strange, "crunch, crunch" sound. It's one of those things that takes a few minutes to sink in. With three cats and two dogs, there is usually food in the bowls and critters eating. However this time, we noticed that, hey, there is a "crunch, crunch" sound, and Ernie is in here, Sassy is out of food, and all the cats are fighting over the one good sunbeam that has appeared in the house. What is making that "crunch crunch" noise?
Quick inventory of animals and guess who isn't in the immediate vicinity? Sassy Burrito of course! Follow the noise of "crunch, crunch" and there she is, with half a cheap plastic coat hanger. Since we had just returned from shopping, I had laid my bag from target on the chair, and Sassy had snagged the yummiest thing ever out of said bag! A plastic coat hanger!
We yanked the half she had between her paws away from her, while she looked up happily at us, wagged, and swallowed the bit that was in her mouth. We could not find the other half.
It's been a few days, and, well, looks like everything has passed through fabulously.
My friend Candice and I keep lamenting about how we need to get a farm so that we can have goats. I'm beginning to rethink that position. Of course, maybe the goats would eat Sassy! She has to be the animal version of food wrapped in food right? Like pigs in a blanket. It's coat hanger in a puppy!
Maybe we could not only crate her, but muzzle her as well?
You hear the door slam, the thunk of shoes being kicked off, and notice a little trail of bloody footprints leading to the shower...
I've been told that the photo of my bloody heel is sickening. So... click the link if you want to see it. I guess it is kind of gross. I'm just used to bloody skater feet.
CLICK HERE FOR THE GORE!
For the time being I'm practicing. Because really, who the hell am I kidding? I'll end up skating this season. And I'll swear up and down it's my last, and that may be true, or it may not. I am however, vowing not to kill myself this year. I'm not going to Kalamazoo next month. Much as I want to, I would kill myself trying to schedule it, we'll be training two employees (hopefully) and really, they don't need me for that bout. So I will stay home. And it'll break my heart, and I'll be bummed out all weekend, but I just can't kill myself trying to take a weekend off work to get there.
I am however, going to try and get some new wrap and padding for my feet.
It's that time of year again! The derby "break" is over, and practice is getting ready to fire back up this Sunday. Therefore, time has run out for me! I need to make a damn decision already! Do I put myself through this "one more time"? Or do I hang my skates up for good?
Derby has been like a drug for me. The highs, the lows... the mind boggling expense! I've lost friends because of derby, but I've also gained a big circle of co-dependent addicts to bond with over our blistered toes, ruined knees, and horrid pad rot. I keep waffling back and forth. In reality, it makes sense to quit. I really can't afford to keep playing! Wheels alone are absolutely breaking my bank account. I need a good mouth guard this year, so says my dentist. Uniforms, tights, socks, pads... it's all adding up! Since I can't afford an MRI I still have no idea what is wrong with my knees, or how long my shoulder is going to last without coming out of socket again! I can't kneel on a padded surface, like my bed or a couch, without pain in my knees. That is not normal people!
There's no "reward" for playing this sport. We don't get paid nor are we even locally famous. I've never received an award for being a good player. I've been here since the beginning. We skated on a slightly sloped parking lot of a church, where luckily the pastor was too politely shocked to tell us to quit! I was there when we were hoping for at least 500 people at the first bout, and ended up with THOUSANDS of screaming fans. Giving up now seems like it would be the hardest thing ever.
On the other hand, getting a month off where I am actually able to have a normal life... it's liberating! Let me tell break down my schedule during derby season:
Monday: up at 4am. Get to the shop, work until 4pm. Run errands, home at 5pm. Change, help take care of the animals, get out the door and to the practice space around sixish. Warm up, practice until 9pm. Cool down, out the door at 9:10, home by 9:45. Shower, fix dinner, eat and unwind, in bed by 11:00pm.
Tuesday: up at 4am. (= 5 hours of sleep IF I'm lucky enough to fall asleep right away, which I'm usually not) Work until 8:00 p.m. Home by 9pm, make dinner, unwind, in bed by 10 or 10:30 pm.
Wed: repeat Mondays schedule.
Thursday: up at 4am. Work until 4pm. Home, clean, make dinner, watch a movie or tv with friends. Dill gets beer for half price growler night. Usually after all is said and done, in bed by midnight.
Friday: Similar to Tuesday, except we have live music, and usually don't get out of the shop until 9 or 10. Usually in bed by midnight or 1am.
Saturday: up at 5:30, open the shop by 7:30, work until 12:00pm or 1:00pm. If we don't do anything social, we're in bed by a decent time. But usually, we want to hang out with friends and actually do something fun, so we get to bed kind of late.
Sunday: up at 5:30, head to shop. If it's a morning practice day, I work until 9am, then leave Dill with two other employees. I always feel HORRIBLE when I do this, as from 10:00am until 11:00am, we have a huge rush. In one hour on Sunday, we do a typical Monday business. It's insanity! If it's an evening practice, I work until 2pm, when we close on Sunday, then go home, change, work around the house till 4pm, then head to practice. Practice ends at 7pm. Home, shower, make and eat dinner, unwind in bed by 10ish.
Kind of hectic right? Toss in some events every month that are mandatory, bouts, extra workouts... it gets a little crazy! Now take away the derby. Instead of getting off work at 4pm and filling the rest of the night with derby, the husband and I work out, mow the lawn, make an awesome from scratch dinner, play some wii or read a book and watch tv, get some knitting in... it's pretty damn nice actually!
On the other hand, this upcoming season is going to be so exciting! We're finally going to be moving to a larger venue, the Pepsi Collesium. Do I want to have worked for all these years, and miss out on that? I've been considering other options as well, playing for the Belles, becoming a ref, etc. I'm excited about taking my new bod on the track this season as well. Unlike last season, I didn't sit around during the break, gain wait, and lose all my muscle. This year I trained hard every freaking night, I've lost 15lbs, and I know I've gained more muscle. My triceps, back, and shoulders are telling me so. (I love you wii active!)
In all probable reality, I'll strap my skates on again this year. Like a drug, it'll eventually break me down, ruin my body, and I'll end up broke. But the mere thought of giving up the high of skating sends cold shivers down my spine. Until they invent a derby rehab, I'm likely to ignore common sense. (and as a side note, can anyone else imagine a derby episode of "Intervention")?
Sassy has felt really bad lately. See, she knows how "What Sassy Ate Today" is a really popular running post on this blog, but lately, she just hasn't eaten anything odd! It's not that she doesn't enjoy eating the random crap that has entertained you all (while frightening the hell out of Dill and I). It's just, how many sharpies, pens, cd jewel cases, tv remotes, televisions, knitting, new couch, etc, can one puppy eat! Not to mention that we've been amazingly good at cornering her off to one section of the living room, and keeping everything out of her grasp!
Yesterday however, Sassy decided that those of you that have always enjoyed her antics (I'm looking at you Lux and Mrs. Lux) needed to be rewarded for your patience. While we were at work, Sassy scaled the armchair in the living room, got into the "forbidden" library portion of the room, opened up a bag, and found such wonders! A checkbook and a pack of GUM! She gnawed on the checkbook for a second, but the shiny, gummy goodness of the other package sang to her! She of course had no idea when we would be home, since our schedule is so crazy. If she had to choose, it had to be the gum.
She grabbed the pack of Eclipse, climbed my skate bag, hopped over the gate, and proceeded to EAT THE ENTIRE PACK! When we came home, we found only scraps of gum, and a dog full of minty fresh licks on the face. *sigh*
We cleaned up her mess, then got a delightful email! FREE HARRY POTTER TICKETS! That's right, two free passes to an early screening of Harry Potter! Dinner plans were scrapped, stuff was thrown in the fridge, and in our haste to get there and get in line (passes are not a promise, it's first come first serve)I forgot to put up one of the gates.
Sassy, knowing that she has disappointed everyone for so long, decided to give her blog fans a BONUS! She got behind the gate, up onto the stereo shelf, and found, a brand new sparkly tin full of 1-hour breath mints! BRAND NEW! To her it was like a gift from the gods! Sassy loves nothing more than chewing up something that was just purchased! She loves the smell of wasted money!
So while Dill and I were waiting in line, then watching the movie, Sassy was destroying the tin, then eating every single mint inside of it. I had hoped that it would help her with her 4:00 a.m. wake up Mom with licks on the face puppy breath, but it did not.
She hopes that you enjoyed her hard work. Because she doubts that the metal cage that has appeared in the living room is going to give her much opportunity for such entertaining destruction.
Today was move Flippy the Llama and Starkey the miniature horse day! They're going to an awesome new barn, which is a lot closer to where I live.
I should have taken some pictures of the new place. There is a HUGE indoor riding arena, and lots and lots of pasture. Big giant box stalls.. the place is really nice. They do a lot of rescue work. Retired race horses and such. This is Paco, and he has absolutely stolen my heart. He whuffled on me. (blew air and made a snuffling noise on my hair... I melted).
Horribly thin right now. But once he gets some weight on him he'll look amazing!
And now... Starkey and Flippy!
A face only a mom can love:
I really though flippy would be freaked out by the big horses, since he's only been around minis. In reality, they were freaked out by him!
I'll try and get some better pics tomorrow when I go back to the barn. We picked up a nice little surrey cart for Starkey and some of the ponies that pass through. Should be interesting!